笑谈英文——英文幽默笑话
1.Improvement
One student to another: “How are your English lessons coming along?”
“Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.”
★ 进步
一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
2.The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
★ 迟到的原因
老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校－缓行’。
3.A Never Finished Job
I was going away for a few days and left my husband a list of chores. For fun, I put down as Item 5: Think about your wife a lot.
After I returned, my husband proudly reported that he had completed every job. When I saw the list, however, each item except No.5 had been crossed off. “What's this!” I exclaimed, “Didn't you think about me while I was gone?”
My chagrin vanished when he replied cheerfully, “I started to, but just never finished.”
★ 一直没干完的活
我离开家几天，给丈夫留了个条儿，写下需要做的杂活。为了跟他逗着玩儿，我的第五条写的是：多想念你的妻子。
当我回来后，我丈夫非常自豪地向我汇报，他干完了所有的活。当我看条子时，除了第五条，所有的活都干完划掉了，“这是怎么回事！”我惊讶道：“我不在时，你不想我吗？”
他高兴地说：“我开始干了，不过这活一直还没做完。”这时我的委屈都消失了。
4.To Patch the Hole
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “I feel terrible,” she said. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” said her husband. “Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “And it's lucky you have. I used them patch the hole.”
★ 补洞
丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。“我心里太难受了，”她说。“我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”
“没事儿，”丈夫安慰地说。“你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。”
“是的。”妻子高兴地说, “幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补这个洞了。”
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笑谈英文——英文幽默笑话